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Writing Archives

Ostensibly, thoughts on Jesus

Posted at age 29.

I am nonreligious, yet religion fascinates me. In particular, evolving knowledge of Jesus has separated his life and teachings from my notion of the Church.

As a young Wisconsinite, I learned the Church, God and Jesus are a conglomeration, like AOL-Time Warner. Or was it the Holy Spirit and Yahweh and the Lord Pope? The details eluded me, but there were definitely three entities, all the same. Or maybe I am thinking of the trifecta of less important Eastern competitors, Buddhism and Islam and Judaism. Religion was nebulous. All I knew for sure was in America we are united, under one monopoly of God.


Day of Silence at Hartford Union High School in April 2006

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The golden stool

Posted at age 28.

Everyone who spends a week in Black Rock City develops a relationship with the porta potties. Lack of standard toilets is not normally a highlight of outdoor festivals, and thus it is easy to react negatively to this plight. With experience you recognize there are other ways to think, and as with many relationships, truth manifests through highs and lows; moments of relief, disdain, and sometimes pain; feelings of prison, and other times of sanctuary. Smelling freedom requires first letting go – of yourself, everything you hold on to, everything inside you. Keeping it all bottled up only leads to pain. Your satisfaction is commensurate with your contribution.


People love to express themselves in the toilets.

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I cheated on you, Jose

Posted at age 27.

What we had was never perfect
Since that fateful day, years ago
Hesitant, as usual, I was slow to act
For I wasn’t sure if you knew what I know

Eventually I learned your kindness
And also your sensitivity
But then busy schedules, blindness
We paid the price of passivity

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Being myself

Posted at age 27.

As I neared my home, I spotted another man on the sidewalk ahead. There were no street lights nearby, but I could tell he was middle aged and substantial. The fear crept back, but this time it wasn't a safety fear, but rather a social fear. It was just the two of us. I was determined in my pace, but I also felt drawn to the man's eyes as I approached.


A moment at Burning Man

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Here I lie awake

Posted at age 26.

It’s late. I have a morning flight. Time for sleep. And I’ve been trying. My friend, the Buddhist, has long been slumbering, but I stayed up catching up on work. Though I wasn’t at my most productive, I wasn’t really sleepy.

He is beside me, facing away. His left arm decided to go adventuring, and it came to rest across my chest. No big deal; it’s nice to be close, even if it wasn’t a conscious choice. I’ll take what I can get, after all.


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The bar and the burger

Posted at age 26.

Not having had a hamburger for about a week, it was time. I didn’t have to feel bad about it as I usually do, for while I was indeed in a foreign country, the United Kingdom isn’t like China or India, where I should obviously be experiencing something other than a burger.


First London burger. $17 & not so big so hopefully is delicious! Possibly came with an entire bottle of ketchup, which I declined.

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Posted at age 18.

Some fear its truth.
Some fear its fiction.
It’s a fact. It’s a lie.
Now I’m caught in the friction.
Though unfair to spread rumors,
Unfairer still to take to heart,
That which is said,
Solely to tear us apart.

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