Another year passed too quickly, leaving behind good intentions and hopes and dreams. I am starting to understand all I can reasonably hope for in a year is a slightly greater fraction of my hopes will be realized. But I know one day this hope too will fail me. I hope in the meantime I can build the strength and wisdom to weather the storm.

Saturday Sunset

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Everyone who spends a week in Black Rock City develops a relationship with the porta potties. Lack of standard toilets is not normally a highlight of outdoor festivals, and thus it is easy to react negatively to this plight. With experience you recognize there are other ways to think, and as with many relationships, truth manifests through highs and lows; moments of relief, disdain, and sometimes pain; feelings of prison, and other times of sanctuary. Smelling freedom requires first letting go – of yourself, everything you hold on to, everything inside you. Keeping it all bottled up only leads to pain. Your satisfaction is commensurate with your contribution.

People love to express themselves in the toilets.

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Today I reported for jury duty for my first time, but was not chosen to serve. Maybe I’ll have better luck next year, and at least it got me out of the house!

20160921-scan-jury-duty-small.jpg

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Back in April, I ordered a large magnet to have some fun. I intended to make some sort of art project using pieces of metal suspended by thin strings, but before I got that far, the magnet ended up as a centerpiece on our dining table for most of the year.

Iron filings on mirror on neodymium magnet

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This entry is simply documentation of a phenomenon that might be of interest to future or past historians.

You’d think after years of collective experience, companies relying on crowd funding would get better at their shipping claims. The KANOA earphones I ordered in May were promised around July, then pushed to August, then September, and now October or November. I hoped to have them before the San Francisco Marathon and then before the Burning Man 50K. Now Apple’s launching the AirPods and will probably ship them before I get the KANOA set. Also I ordered a laser projector on Indiegogo, but it was canceled altogether apparently due to issues shipping to the United States. At least I supposedly got a refund on that!

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While eating my tostada salad from The Little Chihuahua, I watched Celeste Headlee’s TED talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”. Following are the ten points and some notes and thoughts.

[youtube R1vskiVDwl4]

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I try to launch an app by starting to type its name, and sometimes it initially shows up in the list, but then disappears. The name still prefills, but hitting return key has no effect. I must wait some seconds for the app list to populate again and let me launch the app.

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I know now I cannot sleep. I probably knew before, but I tried getting lost in music, vaguely hoping my consciousness be released. Trying to get lost is something I am not well equipped to handle, at any rate. I know exactly where I am. The vibrations in my earphones, captivating as they seem, somehow serve only to bring my thoughts into sharper focus. I can no longer contain my mind; the thoughts burst out, and I must write, lest I lose all hope of honoring them, of honoring myself. I am being haunted by the breaking heart of the woman who used to own my house, and I think that is why I must depart.

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Early Monday morning, we got underway just a little late and joined the thousands of others fleeing the city. Our timing was unlucky, and I had to fight tiredness and my bowels while driving seven hours before the first toilets. The traffic also meant Dave and Matt would not be able to join us for food, and they barely made it to Salt Lake City in time for Matt’s flight. The rest of us had a huge lunch near Reno, Nevada, and thus I was satiated for the final nine hours of driving while Erik and Phillip mostly slept.

This entry is lacking details of the final days, and I hope to add more.

Exodus

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The Sunday ritual was the same as every year: I rose late, packed my things while periodically saying goodbye to those who had already finished, ate, and then proceeded to The Temple to watch it burn. I wrote about the temple my first year, so this time I will content myself to describe the day’s events briefly and share some photos.

After roughly 40 minutes, it was determined the fire had cooled enough to let those who dared approach the fire. No longer did Black Rock Rangers or firefighters restrain the curious. That duty was now served by only the raw heat.

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Saturday I mostly chilled at camp in preparation for the highlight of the week, the burning of The Man. The temperature continued its weeklong decline, but I was prepared this year with many coats! Some dust storms delayed the burn almost an hour, but that was fine as the storms delayed all of us as well. Most of our camp watched the burn together, and then we mostly danced at art cars nearby, including Dancetronauts. Due to poor planning, I was somewhat more sober than expected, but I still managed to go out for a second round with Erik and Phillip, and we stayed out dancing past sunrise. It was tiring, but I am glad I did it once this year.

Crazy desert people dancing at 5:22 a.m. at the Mayan Warrior. What a scene!

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Friday I explored area neighborhoods with Steven, and we were later joined by Eric and Mike. I documented some interesting structures and collected ideas for next year. I made a quick trek to the playa before sunset to try to photograph some of the art before it was too late, and on the way back tickled a curiosity that nevertheless went unsatisfied. I went out with most of the camp, which was finally complete with the arrival of Brett and Scott and others. It was a bit of a strange night, as I didn’t feel terribly energetic, but I felt good and wanted to be with friends. Once most of us returned to camp a few hours after midnight, I made use of my speaker system to play some tracks I collected over the year. Those hours listening to music with friends around the campfire ended up being some of my most satisfying hours in days.

Exploring Friday

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Thursday evening, we went out much as we did Tuesday. We were all hopelessly slow to mobilize again and again, but I have come to appreciate those dynamics at Burning Man. That place is endlessly amazing, but it also teaches you to be self satisfied and to enjoy each unexpected moment. Just after we were finally moving, I was almost “condemned” to a night on my own when my bike malfunctioned. Dave stopped to help, and we got lucky the group hadn’t gotten too far. Not long after that, my yurt group ended up separated anyway, so we resolved to enjoy the night on our own. Joy can be an elusive thing, though. I was not sure the music differed much from Tuesday’s, but two of us were not enjoying it and eventually gave up searching. I still had a good time being on the playa and being with friends, despite injuring my hand! After they all retired for the night, some loneliness struck again and propelled me out into the desert once more. I returned still solo, not terribly disappointed but mostly just tired.

This is Helios by Kate Raudenbush. I had trouble getting it in focus since I was dancing on a giant sheep.

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After a low key Wednesday, Thursday was quite packed. As with Tuesday, I felt it broke naturally into two parts. We struggled to coordinate our activities given our various whims, and thus it was only after quite a few delays that I went out in search of friends whose addresses I had written down before coming. I only ended up finding my friend Luke, whom I met in Singapore last year, but I was glad I did, for I was apparently the one who introduced him to Burning Man and much of his inspiration for coming. Then I experienced my first moment of losing my group, though it didn’t last long. Overall I had a nice daytime adventure with Dave, Matt and Steven checking out the catacomb, an open mic, a tea house, a rowdy parade and more.

Always love a desert ship.

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I skipped the annual naked bar crawl Wednesday morning. The race no longer conflicted as in previous years, but having run it, I was less enthusiastic about the bar crawl than I imagined I would be. I relaxed at camp for the afternoon, and Dave arrived with Matt in the evening. With Erik and Phillip, we all went out for a sober night out exploring. We checked out the guild workshops around The Man before seeing some of the more prominent art – Firmament, Sonic Runway, the lighthouses – and briefly visiting The Temple. I had a good time, but also felt my first slight longing for a partner with whom to share this adventure.

As we biked toward Esplanade, we passed Panorama and decided to go up and have a look. I thought it might be more interesting for Matt to first see Esplanade on the ground before going up and seeing it all, but it was still breathtaking either way!

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