Another year passed too quickly, leaving behind good intentions and hopes and dreams. I am starting to understand all I can reasonably hope for in a year is a slightly greater fraction of my hopes will be realized. But I know one day this hope too will fail me. I hope in the meantime I can build the strength and wisdom to weather the storm.

Saturday Sunset

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Everyone who spends a week in Black Rock City develops a relationship with the porta potties. Lack of standard toilets is not normally a highlight of outdoor festivals, and thus it is easy to react negatively to this plight. With experience you recognize there are other ways to think, and as with many relationships, truth manifests through highs and lows; moments of relief, disdain, and sometimes pain; feelings of prison, and other times of sanctuary. Smelling freedom requires first letting go – of yourself, everything you hold on to, everything inside you. Keeping it all bottled up only leads to pain. Your satisfaction is commensurate with your contribution.

People love to express themselves in the toilets.

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Early Monday morning, we got underway just a little late and joined the thousands of others fleeing the city. Our timing was unlucky, and I had to fight tiredness and my bowels while driving seven hours before the first toilets. The traffic also meant Dave and Matt would not be able to join us for food, and they barely made it to Salt Lake City in time for Matt’s flight. The rest of us had a huge lunch near Reno, Nevada, and thus I was satiated for the final nine hours of driving while Erik and Phillip mostly slept.

This entry is lacking details of the final days, and I hope to add more.

Exodus

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The Sunday ritual was the same as every year: I rose late, packed my things while periodically saying goodbye to those who had already finished, ate, and then proceeded to The Temple to watch it burn. I wrote about the temple my first year, so this time I will content myself to describe the day’s events briefly and share some photos.

After roughly 40 minutes, it was determined the fire had cooled enough to let those who dared approach the fire. No longer did Black Rock Rangers or firefighters restrain the curious. That duty was now served by only the raw heat.

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Saturday I mostly chilled at camp in preparation for the highlight of the week, the burning of The Man. The temperature continued its weeklong decline, but I was prepared this year with many coats! Some dust storms delayed the burn almost an hour, but that was fine as the storms delayed all of us as well. Most of our camp watched the burn together, and then we mostly danced at art cars nearby, including Dancetronauts. Due to poor planning, I was somewhat more sober than expected, but I still managed to go out for a second round with Erik and Phillip, and we stayed out dancing past sunrise. It was tiring, but I am glad I did it once this year.

Crazy desert people dancing at 5:22 a.m. at the Mayan Warrior. What a scene!

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Friday I explored area neighborhoods with Steven, and we were later joined by Eric and Mike. I documented some interesting structures and collected ideas for next year. I made a quick trek to the playa before sunset to try to photograph some of the art before it was too late, and on the way back tickled a curiosity that nevertheless went unsatisfied. I went out with most of the camp, which was finally complete with the arrival of Brett and Scott and others. It was a bit of a strange night, as I didn’t feel terribly energetic, but I felt good and wanted to be with friends. Once most of us returned to camp a few hours after midnight, I made use of my speaker system to play some tracks I collected over the year. Those hours listening to music with friends around the campfire ended up being some of my most satisfying hours in days.

Exploring Friday

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Thursday evening, we went out much as we did Tuesday. We were all hopelessly slow to mobilize again and again, but I have come to appreciate those dynamics at Burning Man. That place is endlessly amazing, but it also teaches you to be self satisfied and to enjoy each unexpected moment. Just after we were finally moving, I was almost “condemned” to a night on my own when my bike malfunctioned. Dave stopped to help, and we got lucky the group hadn’t gotten too far. Not long after that, my yurt group ended up separated anyway, so we resolved to enjoy the night on our own. Joy can be an elusive thing, though. I was not sure the music differed much from Tuesday’s, but two of us were not enjoying it and eventually gave up searching. I still had a good time being on the playa and being with friends, despite injuring my hand! After they all retired for the night, some loneliness struck again and propelled me out into the desert once more. I returned still solo, not terribly disappointed but mostly just tired.

This is Helios by Kate Raudenbush. I had trouble getting it in focus since I was dancing on a giant sheep.

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After a low key Wednesday, Thursday was quite packed. As with Tuesday, I felt it broke naturally into two parts. We struggled to coordinate our activities given our various whims, and thus it was only after quite a few delays that I went out in search of friends whose addresses I had written down before coming. I only ended up finding my friend Luke, whom I met in Singapore last year, but I was glad I did, for I was apparently the one who introduced him to Burning Man and much of his inspiration for coming. Then I experienced my first moment of losing my group, though it didn’t last long. Overall I had a nice daytime adventure with Dave, Matt and Steven checking out the catacomb, an open mic, a tea house, a rowdy parade and more.

Always love a desert ship.

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I skipped the annual naked bar crawl Wednesday morning. The race no longer conflicted as in previous years, but having run it, I was less enthusiastic about the bar crawl than I imagined I would be. I relaxed at camp for the afternoon, and Dave arrived with Matt in the evening. With Erik and Phillip, we all went out for a sober night out exploring. We checked out the guild workshops around The Man before seeing some of the more prominent art – Firmament, Sonic Runway, the lighthouses – and briefly visiting The Temple. I had a good time, but also felt my first slight longing for a partner with whom to share this adventure.

As we biked toward Esplanade, we passed Panorama and decided to go up and have a look. I thought it might be more interesting for Matt to first see Esplanade on the ground before going up and seeing it all, but it was still breathtaking either way!

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Tuesday night was possibly the best night of my week, at least for dancing. This was unexpected since I ran the Burning Man 50K Ultramarathon that morning and was quite exhausted by afternoon. I stayed in working on my lights while the group went out for the evening, but they came back around 21:00, at which point I decided to join. I loved the music everywhere we went, and I loved everyone in the group!

By 3 a.m. we made it to the Mayan Warrior, an apparent goal set when we left camp. I had been enjoying all the music along the way, but I was glad the others were happy.

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There was no question in my mind I would attempt it a third time, but still I was nervous in the weeks before. I’m happy to report I did not die before finishing the Burning Man 50K Ultramarathon! It took me 6 hours, 4 minutes, and I placed 74 out of 160 who completed the race. I even managed to throw together a video, below. Thank you to Cherie and the camp Pink Lightning for organizing the race again!

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Monday I went out for what turned out to be my only day drinking adventure of the week. I took it easy and went to bed early in hopes of being rested for the 50K race the following morning.

We had a pretty nice sunset Monday evening, and I tried to go to sleep soon after so I could be somewhat rested for the 50K race I had to head to at 4:30 a.m. the next morning.

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After our long journey to Burning Man Saturday, I woke late and did little Sunday. I think I’ve learned to be OK with that, which itself has been a long journey.

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We planned to leave Saturday before noon and have plenty of time to arrive in Black Rock City when the gate opened at midnight. Packing, of course, took longer than I hoped it would. We actually left four hours late, but most of the journey was remarkably smoother than the previous few years, and for a while I thought we would only be a little late. I was wrong. After being on the road 14 hours, we set up camp after sunrise. As a wonderful bonus, we managed to camp with friends and mark off plenty of space for others to join later.

Loading the vehicle was a multihour process of Erik bringing me things, Erik skipping more and more things fearing there will not be room for necessities, me noticing things are missing and getting them myself and magically finding more space on the roof.

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In the made prep for Burning Man 2014, I went in with more knowledge than I had the year prior; I knew I needed lights. Now I have an ongoing project that is an exercise in programming and attempted durability.

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As I neared my home, I spotted another man on the sidewalk ahead. There were no street lights nearby, but I could tell he was middle aged and substantial. The fear crept back, but this time it wasn't a safety fear, but rather a social fear. It was just the two of us. I was determined in my pace, but I also felt drawn to the man's eyes as I approached.

A moment at Burning Man

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The temple at Burning Man this year was called the Temple of Grace, and it burned to the ground Sunday night with a spectacular twist. Click the image to view a larger version that’s 1280x720. It’s 5.4MB, so it might take a while to load.

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Primarily the temple was a bridge to the hereafter, where many people paid tribute to their departed friends and family. From little messages to cards and photos and keepsakes to large sculpture tributes, burners have many creative ways to honor the dead.

There was more to this place, though. It also seemed to function as an outlet for emotions we no longer manage together as a society. This was apparent through reading just a small sample of the temple’s faces.

Some people released years of tension in their lives, apologizing for being a horrible father, forgiving a sibling for habitual abuse, or vowing to be a more sensitive friend. Some wrote inspiring messages and some asked questions, from personal to universal. “How do I be there for my son when he makes me so upset with his life choices?” “How can human kind achieve peace?” “Are we alone?” “Why me?”

Hundreds gathered in worship, remembrance and meditation all week at the Temple of Whollyness

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Saturday night around 9:30 is the big burn of The Man, the giant structure in the middle of Black Rock City.

I’m going to let the photos do the talking for this entry… enjoy!

The UFO begins to fall apart

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The nightlife at Burning Man is life entirely different than anything I knew before. If the day time is for wearing nothing, the night time is for wearing everything. The art pieces that are so strange, so epically large or so remote under the scorching sun come alive in the dark. It almost seems most of the people also come alive in the dark. Colored lights are everywhere, on everything.

Organizing how Burning Man provoked my mind is tough, and much of it doesn’t correspond with photos, as is usually the case with my life documenting. I’ll take a stab at providing a glimpse while narrating some photos that roughly fall into the categories of art structures, sound structures, art cars and art structure burns. Those are the things I was most able to document while immersed in my mental and physical explorations. As with most things at Burning Man, those categories aren’t even well defined. All the lines blur, sometimes disappear entirely, and you grow to appreciate fluidity.

Disco party at the sheep

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Everyone carries water, a dust mask and goggles for protection from the elements. Single ply toilet paper, sunscreen and snacks are also a good idea. Radical self reliance is the key. The weather was hot, but not horribly so this year. Generally people wear little during the day. Just about anything goes on the playa, and people can dress as they please without fear of judgment. This is part of another Burning Man principle, radical self expression. Nudity is not as common as I expected, but there are definitely many nudists. More commonly, I saw scarves or shorts, but not much more, which was definitely practical in the heat!

Brad and Matt

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In early February, I decided to buy some tickets for that impossible to fully describe event called Burning Man. Despite prevaling wisdom, I actually think I had a pretty good idea what I was in for. I knew it is a city that rises on an ancient lakebed within a week and then in even less time diseappears entirely. I knew it is about acceptance and free expression. I knew it is not for the feeble.

What I did not know was how being freer than I ever have been would change me. Realizations, new experiences, new friends. It was undoubtedly the most awesome adventure of my life, even though I know I barely scratched the surface my first year. You really do need to experience it, though hopefully writing about it can help me better live it every day.

It was a pain to get the bike rack mounted on this vehicle, since the back was mostly plastic lined and I had to work hard to find secure mount points.

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