I order a ton of stuff via Amazon’s “1-Click” ordering, and unfortunately Amazon does not give you the option to choose a specific courier for the shipment. If they did, I would ban USPS and FedEx from ever handling my shipments.

I never receive packages shipped via FedEx or USPS, and always receive UPS and Ontrac packages on the first attempt. How is it that the doorbell never works for two couriers? Or perhaps they don’t even bother ringing me.

FedEx seems to not be able to handle entering my gate code, as I almost always just get the door tags without having gotten a ring to my phone at all. The only way I have managed to receive FedEx packages is by calling them and demanding a same day redelivery, and demanding they call me upon arrival. Apparently their drivers refuse to spend their personal cell phone minutes (which are free these days, aren’t they?), so they must have the dispatch office call me. Whatever, as long as it works. If only I could automatically have this happen before having to miss a shipment first.

USPS is even worse because they won’t automatically try to redeliver. My options according to the notice are to pick it up from the post office (waste of time, hassle, etc.) or drop the slip in the mail for them to redeliver. Half the time the worker does not fill in the date I can pick up from the post office, but usually it is at least a day or two later. And when I try to have them redeliver, the redelivery never occurs in fewer than five days, and usually doesn’t happen at all. I almost always have to go to the post office and pick it up myself.

UPS and Ontrac, however, never have any problems. UPS always rings my roommate’s phone successfully using the gate code, and leaves the package by my door or mailbox in the lobby. This works great. Ontrac either rings the gate or calls my mobile directly, which also works great.

Thank you UPS and Ontrac, if only I could find a way to make my Amazon account always use you!