Hello Matthew. Erase the last email I sent, and continue replying from this one. I will try to remember some of what I typed before.

I feel so terrible about that email. I spent so long working on it. What a waste. I poured out all of my thoughts and feelings on everything for what? Nothing! This life totally sucks.

I just want to say after reading this e-mail, I am not satisfied at all that it was nearly like the original. This one sounds completely stupid and cheesy, so bear with me.

Although I’m not happy anymore, this is sort of how it went:

Say something interesting…

I’m gay! I’m gay! I’m so happy!

I did not realize that Heather and I were sitting together eating pizza…how was it cute?

And yes, either Emmy or I did indeed start the “rumor” about your jacket. But it was not a rumor for it was firmly based on the observation of current events at St. Hubert School and the status of the love triangle(s) (or other polygonal shapes) presently in existence. The original observation was that you had your third eye on Heather and the stripping was a desperate act of desire for Heather’s approval. And I’m sure it’s (she’s) not the “only” reason…if you catch my drift, however cyberized it has become.

If I do not have your trust to not tell anyone anything I email you, you need not read on. But if you do read on, you will not show or tell anyone what I have said in any way, shape or form.

Now this is a very vague summary:

I am extremely dissatisfied with Jesse. He is telling his cousin Nathan that I am asking him what size his penis is. (?)

The reason I am mad is this: I have been very nice to Jesse recently, especially since I sent out the email with all the perverted stuff he said. After I sent that message, he’s been awfully sad. He told me in a serious way that he felt “depressed” and “alone.” He said the same thing to Amy. She told me she felt sorry for him and she was worried about him doing something to himself. She didn’t seem too happy with me. It made me think a bit, and I guess I felt sorry for Jesse too. So I was being so nice to him, and the next day, he seemed perfectly fine. I thought he was holding it all in. Maybe Amy was right. Or maybe he realized that it probably really was not a big deal at all and it was very stupid and it would pass. He was fine again for the rest of the week. Then he turns around and gets his cousin to help poor him spread stories about me. And you know what? I don’t even know why that bugs me. There’s something about that Nathan guy that makes me so mad when he does things on Jesse’s side. I’m still going to be nice to Jesse when we get back to school because I believe that people will eventually realize I am a loving caring person, and they need not be scared or mean. I hate being betrayed by someone I trust(ed) (take a hint) I think it is just that Nathan goes to another school where I have no “influence” and he has a lot of friends. That is a threat because the empty people will suck his dick without even knowing it.

How are you feeling about the end of the school year?

Part of me wants the year to end. Obviously, part doesn’t. There are going to be so many memories left behind, so many years at this school. I would give the world to be able to stay with this class throughout high school. I just sincerely hope everybody stays in touch. There would be so much lost if we loose contact. You of all people better keep emailing me all the time. My sister read the Christmas card you gave me…I wish she hadn’t, but still, she says you are an incredibly intelligent person. Go figure.

I am so not looking forward to scout camp in June. It is a lot of fun, but there is one part that I hate. Swimming! I like swimming, but this sucks. If you don’t know, I still have to plug my nose. In order to swim in the lake at camp, you need to do this certain test that I never do year after year because of the holding breath thing. I do not really care, but everyone has to go to the lake when you get there and take the tests. Everyone sees me, and a few others, taking the “B” class tests, and it is pretty embarrassing, but I do not act like it.

Another thing I am not looking forward to is high school. I just know I will get sucky strict teachers for all my classes. I sure hope you do not have to shower. I like taking long hot showers. I hate short showers. Also, I am going to make a fool of myself in gym class. Hartford has gym every single day for half a year. That is going to suck majorly.

Good luck with Jesse, John and Andy.

How do you think I am going to do in high school? What do you think of me, seriously. Think about it, and write back.

-Charlie (your trusted(?) friend(?))